I get very, very lonesome during the day when I'm here all by myself. It's been a long time since I was in complete control of my time, and I can see why I felt so crazy when I was single and living alone. People distract me from the loneliness, but it never goes away. I used to think this was a bad thing and tried to find ways to dispel it from my psyche, but recently I've been thinking loneliness is actually a good thing--and also that maybe I'm calling it loneliness but that's the wrong word for my feeling. I'm longing for something...but maybe it's not people. I feel loneliest when I'm outside at night in the summertime, and the wind of an approaching storm is whipping my hair. I want the lightning to touch me so that for one brief instant I'll be connected to the clouds, to the infinite sky and know what it is to be eternal.
That is unlikely, so I suppose I will embrace the yearning. Put it in my work, make you feel it, and then maybe I won't be so lonely. That is why I write.
Friday, December 11, 2009
What a stunning image of a longing for the divine. Thanks for this Sherri. In my spiritual direction work we often talk about moving toward, instead of away from, that longing- thanks for reminding me how fortunate we are to have writing as a means of doing so.
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful and beautifully captured sentiment.
ReplyDeleteYes, pass this to your readers. This is what great fiction is made from.
Thank you, Sarah, Knyt. For some reason I needed to express this today.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a good reason to write, too. I feel great potential in solitude and silence.
ReplyDeleteYearning for something greater than ourselves. I suppose that's part of all of us in some way. To capture that, and put it on paper somehow so others can feel it too ... well, I think you just did. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, well all right then. lol Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteSolitude often makes me nervous.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said.
ReplyDeleteI never feel lonely when I'm alone. Well, except in hotel rooms. Being in a hotel by myself depresses me. But I have felt lonely in groups--at a dinner party where I don't know anyone except the host. Sigh.
I like George Orwell's essay, "Why I Write." But I came across this
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/series/whyiwrite
Lots of good reading! Hmmm...
So, why do you read?
Great question, Marta. I'll have to think about that one for a while. Why do you?
ReplyDeleteThanks for that awesome link. I'm going to share it on FB.
I love this post.
ReplyDeleteHey, this got caught in my spam filter. Sorry! And that is why I check before I delete spam, because sometimes some love gets caught in there. Thanks :)
ReplyDelete