Showing posts with label fragrance sensitivity. Show all posts
interning
fragrant limits
I stopped going to garage sales when I realized pretty much everything besides metal and glass soaks up fragrance: plastic, cloth, wood, paper, pottery, ivory. This means the things I would normally shop for at a garage sale I can't buy, like books, Tupperware, furniture, and clothes. Over the summer I tried it again since my techniques for getting out smell have improved over the years. We got a few sweaters and a pair of jeans that actually worked out, but several items never did release their smell. Into the garbage with those jokers. Even with the successful ones I get a full dose during the de-smelling process. Despite greater success, the reward is not worth the work. Wal-mart clothes don't cling to a scent.
(Speaking of clothes, the boy told me this morning he's outgrown his new jeans already. Sigh. It never ends, does it?)
I've reached an equilibrium at work. My library doesn't use air fresheners (yet), but people are people and so I encounter eye-watering fragrance on a daily basis. My position as a shelver makes it easier to move to another area, but if a coworker is wearing it I just resign myself to the eventual headache. I like my coworkers a lot, and it's hard to stay away from them.
Only a theory before, I know now for a fact that I can not work in a building with "freshened" air. But I have found that there's a limit to my fragrance-induced headaches when working with the public, so that's heartening. I could probably take a class in a real classroom without fear. A full-time job is not out of the question, as long as I didn't work closely with others the whole time. Right now I'm in the midst of finding an internship for this college class I'm taking, and the fragrance issue is in the back of my mind. If nothing else, it will be another test of my limits. I will have another benchmark, for good or bad.
For a long time I didn't let my children sleep over at friends' houses, nor have other kids over to ours. Now that they're older and have grown up with the concept of fragrance sensitivity they have no problem explaining it to their friends. They aren't offended when they have to play outside. The thing is, now that I know my limits better, I can calculate the risks of having a smelly child over and sometimes it works out. We've even had a couple sleep over.
This might not sound like a big deal to you, but to me it's huge. Not only from a fragrance perspective, but from a social one also. As a child I rarely went to friends' houses, and virtually never had anyone over to mine. So I've been very nervous about this aspect of my kids' social lives. I know how important it is to be comfortable letting others into your home, and you can only get this way with practice.
So, yeah. Limits. When you feel like your pain is limitless you're usually wrong. I'm dealing with my limitations, or trying to, instead of being a recluse. I just do as much as I can and try to shake off the rest. Though I don't think I'll ever get used to telling people their perfume makes me sick.
Grandbabies galore–or- How the heck did I do that?
So tired, body and soul. I watched two of my little grandboys yesterday while their mother (my step daughter) was at work, and we had a wondermous bonding day.
I am ever so grateful my kids are older. A bit bewildered, also, to realize that I used to do that baby stuff with its constant attention every day for, like, 8 years or so. Obviously it's different with someone else’s children, who are missing their mother and in a strange place with strange toys and strange napping places. And also there’s a rhythm to taking care of babies, a pattern of attention that a mom’s brain attains over time, which I have since lost.
But dang, no wonder I felt so frazzled all the time back then. And at the time, I didn’t appreciate just how much work it was. I should have made the husband do more. Oh, but I’m remembering now I tried and it didn’t work.
So anyway, take the constant need for attention of a 2-year-old and an almost-one-year-old, multiply that by 9 hours, add in the smelly detergent on their clothes, and that’s a recipe for a hangover.
But the bonus daughter agreed to start using the free and clear detergent again, so I’ll be able to have them to visit again, hopefully on a more regular basis. My kids love having their nephews around, and so do I.
A tale of two jobs
The job search continues…slowly. I’m taking it slow on purpose, because my tendency is to go 24/7 on a project till I collapse, and after that collapse it takes a lot of time to get back into it. I saw the pattern emerging with the job search, too, working in spurts and ignoring between. I’m also trying to mix it up a little bit, spending a day on one or two tasks, like resume writing, and the next something else, like searching the Internet job boards and narrowing down the field, then the next day maybe following up on those. As a result, this week was more productive. I didn’t get burned out on any one thing.
Yesterday was feet-on-pavement day. I had leads on two jobs I thought worth pursuing. My expectations were low already, looking at the jobs available for someone of my education and needs. Most positions have seemed like settling; these seemed like a good fit. Since air freshener is a concern, I want to check out the workplaces before I apply, if possible.
The first job was doing land and title research for the Seminole Nation. The place I applied is 23 minutes from my house (I timed it). Just on the edge of my ideal commute and pay, but an interesting job worth checking out.
I think it was doomed from the start. They made me fill out an application, and some of the information they wanted I didn’t have with me. I kept making mistakes on the app, so it looked sloppy by the time I was finished. Then after I finally handed it back, the lady said I’d be doing most of my work in another town a full 15 minutes further down the road. The commute would eat up too much of the already-low wage. Also, they don’t withhold taxes, so that’s a hassle. My first visit to a potential workplace turned out to be a bust.
The second place was on the way back from the first place. It was sort of a whim to stop there, because I figured it would be too smelly, but I also thought, it’s right there, so why not? Seminole State College is 13 minutes from my house, so that’s a plus. It’s a college office, a pleasant, clean workplace—plus. It’s a college, so smelly, Axe-wearing young adults—minus. Pay is good enough, but the benefits are like a dream. I’d overlooked the fact that it’s a state agency with state benefits. PLUS.
The lady in charge was so nice. She took ten minutes out of her day just to tell me all about the benefits of working in her office, and I hadn’t even applied yet. She seemed very open to me as a person. I’m really glad I needed college transcripts and a cover letter to apply, otherwise I’d have given her this resume that isn’t tailored to the job. Just thinking about working there gives me shivers, makes me want to cry, and sends me into spontaneous prayer. Please let the smells be okay, please don’t let me sound stupid in my resume, please don’t let those couple of failing semesters put her off, please oh please oh please.
One note about the fragrance issue: I didn’t feel bothered while in the office, even though I could smell something, the source wasn’t clear. I think it might have been the people, and not air freshener, which, while still not ideal, gives me great hope I can tolerate it. One test of whether or not I’ve been exposed to copious amounts of fragrance is to smell the clothes I wore the next day. Your nose shuts down after a while, so it’s hard to assess it that way. So I smelled my clothes this morning, and … nothing. No smell, except for my own nervous sweat.
I’m afraid to hope, but I’m moving forward on this today. I have until October 24 to assemble all the documents, improve my resume, and write my cover letter—and of course I don’t want to cut it too close.
Getting a job is a lot of work.
Graduation
I don't think Zariah was as broken up as I was about me not being there. I sent along a gift only from me, a blank journal symbolizing her new stage in life, and I wrote her a letter to go with it. She's a woman now, officially. Graduated and 18 with a baby. Maybe I'll get used to it someday.
Disjointed and crappy
- My step-daughter graduates high school this evening. I decided to stay home, after much anguish and stress, because of the extreme probability of massive fragrance exposure. Me, fragranced out, wrangling three kids in a packed gymnasium for 3+ hours...I finally admitted it just wasn't going to work. I've already been exposed so much this week that it's built up and my tolerance would be nil if I were to go tonight. I bought her a special gift to show I care since I can't be there, and I'll write a letter telling her how proud I am.
- I finished updating the synopsis for Black Veil Angel, and now I'm waiting for my beta readers to get back with me before I start the final polish on that. During the lull I'll crit Allie's vampire mailman novel. I expect to have it done over the weekend.
- I've lost ten pounds now. It's slow, but I'm settling into healthier eating patterns.
- Lots of cosmic activity going on in my external world, with things breaking and tornadoes and enlightening coincidences. Sometimes when these turbulent times pass I come out with a deeper knowledge of myself...and sometimes I just feel like I've been beaten. Too soon to tell which will be the case here.
- This is the kids' last day of school.
- Sunday is the finale of Lost. ZOMG LOST
My favorite fragrance-free products
I still think it is, but I'm finding out that repeated exposure can still build up. I've left only a day between each exposure over the past week or two--library, casino, grocery store, school enrollment, pizza place--and it has sure been taking a toll. I need longer rest time in a neutral environment between each outing to allow my body to metabolize the toxin. It's such a relief to get back to my home, the most neutral environment I've found.
I've avoided making a list of fragrance-free products I use, because of laziness, yes, but also because until now I hadn't tried enough of them to settle on a list of favorites. These products work as well as the ones they replaced, and in some cases better.
Cleaners
- Clorox Green Works Natural dishwashing liquid, Free & Clear. I love this stuff. I also put it diluted in pump bottles for hand washing.
- Soapopular hand sanitizer is completely inoffensive
- Simplicity Hypoallergenic Non-toxic automatic dishwasher sachets
- Borax is an excellent grease cutter. Nothing better for getting grease off appliances.
- Ammonia
- Vinegar
- Water. Seriously, do you need to use a chemical everytime you wipe the crumbs off the counter?
I have yet to find a suitable replacement for toilet bowl cleaner, so I just use ammonia or vinegar, whatever I'm in the mood for, but they don't really get rid of the water stains. I'm still looking. Be wary of trash bags, because they often have fragrance added.
Body-care products
- Earth Science Fragrance Free Shampoo and Conditioner
- Aveeno Active Naturals Skin Relief Body Wash, Fragrance Free (I prefer the store brand version of this, because it doesn't seem to have as much of an odor and it's cheaper, but this will be more easily found.)
- Dove Sensitive Skin bar soap. Make sure it says "Fragrance Free" on the package and not merely "unscented."
- Dove Sensitive Skin antiperspirant. Again, make sure it says "Fragrance Free" on the package. "Hypoallergenic" or "Unscented" doesn't always encompass it.
- Almay makeup contains no fragrance ever, as far as I can tell.
- Lubriderm Daily Moisture for me, and Suave Natural Oatmeal Moisturizer for DH
- Olay Complete All-day Moisture Lotion, Sensitive Skin.
Be wary of any feminine hygiene products, because they do not have to list any added fragrance. I once bought a package of Carefree panty liners and was surprised with fragrance, so I avoid all their products, just in case.
Along my journey through the house listing all my products, I found a couple of scented products that sneaked past me. One was the Dove "unscented" soap, the other was my husband's hairspray, both of which don't list fragrance in the ingredients. I assume they list the actual chemical name of the fragrance, but the research to find out which one would be a couple of hours. And it doesn't matter, anyway, because they have to go. These could be the reason for my constant eye and sinus irritation, and also the reason for the decreased stamina outside of the house. I've put that soap on my face every single day for a couple of weeks.
Anyway, that's my list. Here's an interesting interview I tweeted yesterday about toxins in personal care products if you're interested in such things.
Update: So guess what? I didn't use the soap or a new antiperspirant, and I feel tons better. It's like night and day. I'm so happy I could scream. :)
Another update: I re-checked the packaging on the Dove soap, and it does say "fragrance free" on there. Guess it was just a red-herring after all. That's why this is such a stupid problem. It's possible something besides fragrance in the soap is irritating my eyes. I really need to make some more soap.
A doctor who listens: priceless
I ended up crying at the doctor's office yesterday. I feel pretty dumb about the blubbering, but it just serves to show how frustrated I am by the whole thing, how much I really need to figure this sinus thing out. The X-rays showed nothing abnormal (it so cool to see inside my own skull) so he gave me a course of antibiotics and steroids.
I told Doc I'd been dealing with this problem for 6-7 years, but as I look back I think it's been closer to eight or nine. I'm not sure if Doc believes me when I tell him how my old doctor dealt with these chronic problems. With the backward lens of time and experience, it seems like the old doc hated me. I wish I could see what he wrote about me in my chart.
It won't surprise me at all if antibiotics clear it right up. The old doc refused to consider it. I love having a doctor who listens to me, even when I'm crying.
And oh yeah, I told him about the fragrance thing and he didn't laugh at me. He didn't get defensive. He didn't dismiss it. He said some people have sensitive airways, and that was it. I'm hoping that the fragrance sensitivity will shake out when my sinuses are healed. I'd probably never go back to the old level of stinkiness, but at least I'd be able to be around people again, which means writer's cons and a job and TCoB in general. To be normal would be the height of awesomeness.
Thoughts from the treadmill
I appreciate the efforts of my SIL Rhonda to make her family as fragrance-free as possible when they came over last weekend. Brown Bootie the Daring Dachshund went to live with them, so I'm happy about that. I know they'll take good care of her.
After their visit I was sick with a slammin' migraine for an entire two days, but DH took care of everything and let me recover.
I felt better in time for my daughter's choir concert. I'd have gone anyway, because she had the big solo, but I was really glad to have felt well enough for it. The concert was held in a packed auditorium, and I had a little eye tightness, but I was surprised to find I handled the fragrances quite well. Abby was angelic, the star of the show, and the other two kids were good during the concert, so it was a success.
The next day (Wednesday) I woke up feeling under the weather, and unfortunately the migraine came back. I was able to hold off the full-blown migraine yesterday by lying around with my eyes closed all. day. long. ugh. Today I woke up with energy, but still can't see. Keep your fingers crossed for tomorrow. I'm really bored and need to do some housework.
Peace out.
If fragrance were a man I'd shoot him.
So this fragrance sensitivity I have, it is the real deal. As you may remember, I took out most everything in my house that contained fragrance and saw an immediate improvement. Over the past couple of weeks I have had much less eye fatigue, no headache, little to no sinus pressure. I've had a stuffy nose, but it's the regular variety. I'm getting to a point where I can live with it.
I was able to find a fragrance-free version of everything in the house, but some things are available only through the internet and cost quite a bit more, such as dishwashing soap, so I'm dragging my feet on those. We're still using the old Soft Soap, and my husband still uses his Irish Spring (making the concession of keeping it under the cabinet when not in use, not sure that's good enough), and I'm using my kid's shampoo since the smell is not nearly as strong as mine.
Everything was peachy...Until I whipped out the carpet stain remover. You know the kind where you spray it on the stain and wait three minutes and blot? That stuff will tear you a new sinus cavity. I didn't consider as I sprayed it on that even after I blotted, the stuff would still be sitting there, in my carpet, silently giving off noxious fumes. By the end of the day I had a migraine. My first headache in weeks.
The headache is only annoying this morning, but I've been sneezing and having trouble focusing already. I tried rinsing and blotting again, but it didn't work. I guess I have to break out the big guns: the carpet shampooer. Of course I won't be using shampoo, only rinsing. Just think, I used to make my whole house smell like that shit... *shudder*
No wonder I had migraines.
