Friday, December 18, 2009
You who follow me on Facebook probably saw my distressing tree situation yesterday. My neighbor's son-in-law approved the removal of a tree on my side of the property line. I stopped it, but after consultation with the tree guys and pressure from the son-in-law, I caved and let them cut it down. I didn't go down easy, but at the time it felt like the only thing I could do. The tree was causing my neighbor electrical problems and cutting to eliminate them would have mangled it. When I gave the go-ahead I cried in front of all those guys and for an hour after I came back in. I felt powerless, coerced into approving the removal of the tree, and it rankles that I gave in even if it was the right thing to do. I'll never know if it was or not. It never occurred to me that I could have asked the tree guys to come back after I'd spoken with my actual neighbor, rather than her son-in-law. I doubt she even knew what he was doing.
The whole situation has solidified a new perspective which has been growing inside me for a couple of years. I used to have trouble believing that someone could willingly and knowingly take advantage of me. I assumed any slight or imposition was a careless mistake, or just a misunderstanding. Everything I've gone through has taught me that is a wrong assumption, thanks to this event, I can finally see it. I'm tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt. I'm tired of letting people be mean to me, just because I may be interpreting their motives incorrectly, or, worse still, because I somehow think I deserve it. I'm tired of being pushed aside, ignored, bulldozed, scorned. I'm tired of being tossed in the wake of other people's desires.
Meet the new Sherri. She is angry. Don't fuck with her.
It's about time. I don't think your mistake has been in giving the benefit of the doubt, I think it's the doubt should be that they're doing what's honest, right, good, etc.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're still upset about this, and you're not wrong to be, but at least you're going to be a wiser person for it. Small gain for a big loss, I know, but it's something.
Let me know if you want to talk.
Its kinda scary how much we have in common.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you went through that, being bullied into a corner and pressured into making a decision you weren't ready to make. Especially since it wasn't really your tree or theirs to make decisions on.
Assholes!
I am glad your anger is giving you the strength to define your boundaries!
Rachel- It was my tree, but I see how I have it worded makes it could cause confusion. I might edit that to make it more clear.
ReplyDeleteBoundaries, people! They have been set!
Dane- I'll be all right. But if that guy comes over here, I can't be responsible for anything that happens to his testicles.
Thanks for listening, guys.
It's more clear now, hopefully. And what in the heck is going on with my template? Don't fuck with me, template!
ReplyDeleteI won't, I promise!
ReplyDeleteSeriously sweetheart, I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. But I'm thinking I just might really like this new side to you. You've been carrying this little tigress around inside for a long time now, and it's nice to see it out in the sunshine. You get 'em! Don't let anyone push you around anymore! Being respected is usually better than being "nice," so go ahead and put an end to being scorned and bulldozed. I say, 'You go girl!"
ps - can you make this little comment box thingy bigger, by any chance?
Fal- thank you for all your support. You don't know how much it means to me, probably because I never tell you, but I am now. :)
ReplyDeleteThe comment thingy, I don't know what's going on with the template. I think some of my website problems might be template related. *sigh* Guess I'll go find another.
I just love you little sis. Don't ever forget that. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteAnd you know, this new template is pretty awesome. Do you have the option to change the pics at the top too? I love the sunset, and one of your cherry blossoms might be cool too, if you were going that direction.
The more I look at this the more I like it. :)
I LIKE this new template! MUCH sharper, more professional, cleaner ... only issue I see is the bullet points you used in earlier posts don't show up.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this one!
OH, and I just noticed your sidebar is duplicated with some widgets/links. Just FYI.
ReplyDelete