Sherri Cornelius

My little experiment with You Are the Muse on Thursdays hasn’t really worked. Originally I thought YAtM needed its own space, but I was too afraid to give that level of commitment when I didn’t even know if I could sustain it for a long period of time, so I left it here to see how I would do. Several weeks later, YAtM grew legs and walked out into the world.

I’m happy to announce my new blog, You Are the Muse. I’ve moved the YAtM posts from here to there and added a couple since, while I waited for the right time to tell you about it. Everything about this is different from anything I’ve ever tried before. It might not be an original concept, might not even be very important in the grand scheme of things. It might not turn into anything at all, ever, just me pissin’ in the wind here. (Hard for a lady, but not impossible. ;) I might not ever finish, but it’s asking me to begin.

I tried to box it in here where I’m comfortable but it never felt right, so now I’m trying to let it go where it wants, without a plan or even a destination. There may be many changes in the early days while I adjust course. I have a feeling I won’t be able to see the turns until I’m right upon them.

It’s funny how a blog about finding the muse within oneself seems to be coming from the outside. It might be the only way my subconscious can get around my inability to promote myself. I mean, who am I to tell other people what they should value? Am I really so audacious as to think I might make something out of this? Really? I can only do it if it’s not me doing it, that’s what I think.

And so I ask for your help on behalf of this-thing-that-is-not-me.

Here’s what I need, and you may do any of these or all, whatever you feel comfortable with. I understand you might not be interested in the subject of the new blog, but your friends might be. Anything will help.

1. On Twitter: Follow YAtM on Twitter, and if you feel so moved, give a #FF shout-out
2. On Facebook: “Like” the new YAtM Facebook page and share with your friends. I’ll be suggesting the page to my friends, to make it easier. Subscribe to YAtM with a FB app called Networked Blogs. It’s a safe subscription service, with no spam whatsoever. Very unobtrusive. I’ll also be sending invites for that.
3. On your blog: If you think your readers will be interested, give YAtM a mention and/or put it in your blogroll. I’ll return the favor. I invite you to write your own post about creativity or the muse and tag it with You Are the Muse, or send it to me as a guest post, or both. I have two lined up, but would love more.

I think that’s a good start.

I imagine I will still post here with news of my life, but I might be a bit busy with YAtM for a little while. I would be EXTRASPECIALLY HAPPY, NO LIE, to hear your suggestions for features or improvements. This is a project for all, not just for me.

Thanks for all your support.

Some think of the muse as a pet who will come if you train it with treats, while others see it as a lover you must coax with candlelight and soft words. I have a friend (though I can’t for the life of me remember which) who calls the muse “that elusive little bitch.” Mine is the Great Seventeen-Toed Hairy Prairie Hidebehind from a book I read in 2nd grade.

But in all seriousness, I see the muse as the connection we all have to a collective well of creativity. How do you define your muse?

~~~

Further reading:

http://idratherbewriting.com/2008/02/29/stoking-the-creative-muse-how-finding-ideas-to-write-about-is-similar-to-remembering-your-dreams/

http://www.squidoo.com/amuse

http://ancienthistory.about.com/od/mgodsandgoddesses/tp/Muses.htm

http://www.uwsp.edu/education/lwilson/creativ/muse/idmus2.htm

My creativity quietly began to assert itself this week. Several things happened to facilitate that, starting with the list from last Thursday’s post. Listing the possible stumbling blocks brought them to my attention, forced them out of the recesses of my mind where they lurked. Just admitting my fears took away a lot of their power. I knew they were there, but I need to be reminded from time to time.

Another thing that helped my creativity was rejection, believe it or not. I had two, one for a short story and one for a novel. They were both good rejections as far as rejections go, because they said what they liked about the manuscripts and what they didn’t, and both said they’d like to see something else from me. Often for writers, especially in the beginning stages, rejection is the only contact we have with publishers, so even a “no” can prod us into action and make us feel like part of the process. These reaffirmed my desire to write stories for others’ enjoyment, so I bought MS Word 2010 for my new computer as a symbol of my commitment.

The third thing was finding a folder full of old ideas I forgot about, probably twenty of them. Plot notes, beginnings, characters, scenes…lots of stuff. As I went through them I pulled out the ones that caught my interest. It’s a nebulous thing, interest, because I couldn’t tell you why I left the post-apocalyptic human “canary” in the pile but pulled out the futuristic  dreamless society. I think it’s because the second one fermented better. Who knows, maybe the first one will be the one I pull out the next time I find my idea folder.

And finally, I think I realized the real reason I’ve resisted writing in the past. Fear of failure, scattered focus, indecisiveness—all of these can be overcome since I know they’re there. But while those are the branches of the tree, there seems to be a trunk holding all those up. It’s something I’ve never explored logically, because it’s almost impossible to explain in a simple sentence.

I might call it fear of being alone, except when my family’s gone all day I love the solitude. Perhaps it’s a compulsion to be connected, because when the family’s home I find it hard to shut the door and do my own thing. But wait a minute, I don’t really disconnect during the day either, thanks to the Internet. I’m physically alone but I have conversations all day. Maybe I really am afraid of being alone! See my problem? Whatever it is, it makes me feel like I can’t work on something unless it includes someone else. And it’s not only writing, either. I think the items I listed last week are subconscious ways of taking the attention off the real problem.

What do you think? Have you figured out anything about your hidden motivations recently?

~~~

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I've really been avoiding writing this post. I came up with several different topics, wrote some on each, and decided to write about quitting. How you might decide whether it's worth your while to discard what you've worked toward and start fresh. But it appears I still suffer from the same performance anxiety I always have, because when I think of actually crafting a post and submitting it for your consumption, I clench. It's the same with novels, short stories, articles, and even my resume. The only way I can write is to sneak up on myself, like I'm doing now.

So I thought I would examine that this week. And maybe next week. Possibly until I figure it out.

I know some of my online friends have a similar problem. Lots of ideas, great ideas, scenes written in the safe space between the ears, characters developed as if we remember them from another life. I'm sure every one of us has different reasons for the disconnect between thinking and doing, and here's my list (which assumes a natural talent for putting words on the page, because if that's not there then none of these will matter):

• Fear of failure


• Fear of success


• Fear of exposure


• Scattered focus


• Fatigue


• Personal subject matter


• Physical distractions


• Feeling undeserving


• Uncertainty of purpose


• Indecisiveness

I could probably go on, but already a pattern has emerged. All of these things indicate an imbalance in the writer. And as I look at the list it seems very familiar, so I'm sure there is some internal reason these things came up. The fear of failure is probably universal, and there's tons of advice on how to overcome that particular fear. Fear of success might be more subtle, and in my case probably has to do with not knowing if I can sustain any success that comes my way. After all, I had what most would consider a huge success when I landed my agent, but the failure to get that first book published put me at my lowest point as a writer. Maybe that's something I can explore in the next post.

What would you add to this list? What holds you back?

I often don’t start ambitious projects because I’m afraid to fail, as many of us are, but also because I know how likely it is that I will lose interest in the project before it really takes off. I have huge temporary ambitions every day. Usually, if I ignore the urge to declare one, it will fade after only a day or two.

One idea has returned many times over the past year, when I declared it and then ran out of steam. My idea was to start a new blog focused on the spiritual side of writing, and I decided to call it You Are the Muse. I reserved the Wordpress address and made lists of possible topics…and then it faded away as I focused on casting off the stone around my neck—I mean, finishing my second book.

This was a good thing, as I needed to become more zen about the whole process. When I wrote the original post one year ago, I hadn’t finished the growth I felt was in play. Of course, one usually can’t tell when one is finished with a stage of life until one can look back on it and see the lines of demarcation. And I’m not finished with the big picture lesson of this time, but I think I’ve crossed one important line.

So here’s the deal. I don’t want to start a new blog, as I’d originally decided would be prudent. I know I won’t keep up with it if I do that, so what I’ll do is just start posting these things in a (hopefully) regular feature.

What I hope to do with these posts is to speak the truth of my heart as it pertains to writing, and to encourage others to do the same, regardless of what we think we “should” do. I’d love it to be a collaborative effort, starting with stories of personal processes—long or short, rambling or on point, any form you choose—so send me yours.

While inspiration can come from anywhere, I believe what we call the muse is actually the connection to the things which inspire us. I’d like to explore that with you.