Ihate eating during the day. I resent having to interrupt my activities, however mundane they may be, to refuel. Which is why it’s all right that I don’t have much in the kitchen right now because I haven’t been to the grocery store. The car’s still down and the Hubs’ truck stinks to high heaven. I’ve been living on almonds and baby carrots and the occasional Little Debbie snack cake, saving the real food for the family dinner.
And I’ve yet to lose a pound.
The past few weeks have been emotional, frustrating, joyous:
- My stepdaughter had her second child, and my stepson’s wife had their first baby a week later.
- Found out my stepson will be stationed in frickin’ Washington state when he gets out of boot camp in a month, and of course his wife and baby will go along. Not that I’d get to see them much if they stayed here, but dang.
- What should have been a relatively simple job of changing out the water pump has become an exercise in futility, with one impossible bolt and wet, chilly weather.
- I’m not a happy person right now, and I don’t know how to get happy. I feel stifled and trapped and lonely, not to mention off-balance and unsure. And at this point I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it.
- Home repairs might help. I had a meeting with the insurance adjuster about some hail damage to the roof and siding, and it looks like I’ll be able to get new shingles and new paint. That’s nice.
- I’m enjoying getting to know my cousin during the process, since he’s also my contractor. My dad pretty much raised him, and it’s interesting to hear what life was like with that side of the family, since I wasn’t part of it. But that’s a whole ‘nother blog post.
Something I have learned about myself this week is that I need tidy, beautiful, calm surroundings. My home doesn’t reflect that and it’s something I need to change.