My health seems to be returning, slowly. What? Y'all didn't even know I was gone? Hmph. Well I guess I have been an erratic blogger of late. Maybe that's why my blog traffic has been cut in half. Not even my mom reads anymore.
This migraine didn't last nearly as long as last month's, but it lasted long enough. I hadn't really recovered from that last one when I got a cold, and when that one wore off, this migraine hit. I'm not sure I've ever had a migraine bout this long, but it appears that impacted sinus stuff was the reason. Things are loosening up now, and my eyesight is returning to normal. I regained enough energy to vacuum the filthy, crumby carpets, neglected while I did the absolute necessities of laundry and dishes. Started doing the critiques I'd promised. Nasal spray helped, so I will squirt that junk up my nose for as many days as it takes to reach optimal performance. Oh, hello, Addiction!
A strange thing happens to me during a migraine state. As I said the last time I posted about it, it's actually quite boring, since any mental stimulation at all increases the pain and is therefore to be avoided at all cost. The result is a deliberately unfocused mind, where thoughts flow in and out, disconnected, disjointed, and usually temporary, since I'm unable to hold them and turn them over and commit them to memory. In, then out. That's it.
And I actually love that state of mind. I liken it to a what a zen master must be able to achieve, only without the pain. I'm holding very still, shutting out any external stimuli, emptying my mind, and I get very close to the core of my spirit, that quiet, thoughtless place that guides me. Too bad I can't remember what I learned after I surface. I remember what it felt like, though, and I see that as a gift. (For those of you reading my book on the fiction blog, I think it's like the Desmayo only made of light instead of darkness. Maybe I did tap the core without the migraine to spur me along, I just didn't know it.)
To be honest, I might never pursue that inner part of myself with any conviction if I weren't forced to go there by the pain of a migraine headache. Thank you, Universe for showing me what I look like on the inside. I'm done looking now. No more migraine headaches necessary.