I get very, very lonesome during the day when I'm here all by myself. It's been a long time since I was in complete control of my time, and I can see why I felt so crazy when I was single and living alone. People distract me from the loneliness, but it never goes away. I used to think this was a bad thing and tried to find ways to dispel it from my psyche, but recently I've been thinking loneliness is actually a good thing--and also that maybe I'm calling it loneliness but that's the wrong word for my feeling. I'm longing for something...but maybe it's not people. I feel loneliest when I'm outside at night in the summertime, and the wind of an approaching storm is whipping my hair. I want the lightning to touch me so that for one brief instant I'll be connected to the clouds, to the infinite sky and know what it is to be eternal.
That is unlikely, so I suppose I will embrace the yearning. Put it in my work, make you feel it, and then maybe I won't be so lonely. That is why I write.