Posted by : Sherri Cornelius Tuesday, July 7, 2009

You want a post every day? Then you get poorly thought out, ranty-type posts like yesterdays, which wasn't actually about personal frustration, but more of a "Why are we this way?" As far as the line about my life being devoid of romance, there wasn't anything wrong. I've just been contemplating love in general, watching things unravel for some folks around me, and gave myself a dose of reality, something I think a lot more people should do. I've been married for a long time and plan to keep it that way. No marriage is perfect, and I've expected mine to be for far too long.

So anyway, that topic is closed. Whatev.

Watched Sweeney Todd last night with the hubs. It's a musical, you know, so I expected him to call it gay and leave the room halfway through. But Tim Burton's darkness combined with Stephen Sondheim's strong, interesting rhythms made it okay for a strong, silent type like the DH. Oh, and don't forget all the spurting throat-blood and heaving bosoms. Made for machismo.

Back in the day when I was a misguided musical theater major, the songs of Sweeney Todd were a popular addition to the student body repertoire. I was surprised I didn't feel more nostalgia while watching the movie, and thought maybe I was well and truly over that time in my life. It has haunted me.

Then we watched the "making of" part, and that's when it hit me. There's no feeling like being backstage. I've always enjoyed being in plays and musicals and operas much more than watching them, and when watching, I get the most enjoyment from putting myself in their place. I've never been in a movie so I don't feel that tug with those, but anytime I see behind the scenes activity, costume changes or taking direction or vocal practice with the pianist, a stone settles in my sternum and an actual wave of nostalgia surges through me.

And yet I know it was not for me. I find now that I have little in common with very many of the people I knew back then, so reconnections with acquaintances, and some old friends, fall flat. It's a bit disappointing, but it's also a relief, in a way. It means I have grown up (sorta).

And now we are at the end of another poorly thought out, ranty-type post. You get what you pay for.

{ 11 comments... read them below or Comment }

  1. Being gay is no reason to leave the room. Well, if the film turned into a Greek orgy, that's another story, but then to rent it, you'd have to go into that room at the back of video store and I doubt Johnny Depp would be starring in that picture. (Much to many women's dismay.)

  2. What does being gay have to do with the movie? HA! See what I did there?

    Oh, wait ... WIGSF did it first. Bastahd.

    Yeah, when you try to post something everyday you either have to do a bunch of them ahead of time, while the iron of inspiration's hot, or you just float whatever's in your head out there.

    Fun, no?

  3. I love musicals. I love Johnny.
    But Sweeney Todd was a bit too ick for my taste...

  4. I had something similar to musical theatre that I loved and lost- (singing) and grieved for many years. Then I was over it, or at least it no longer held me in its grip. Now, I'm using that love and loss as the basis for my current novel. So I get to revisit it in another form. Thank God for writing.

  5. I was going to suggest - when I was about halfway through reading this - that you maybe could join a community theater or something like that. Then I got to the end.

    It's almost funny how our tastes change over the years - what we loved at 20 is not so interesting at 40.

    Then there's me, who still loves rock & roll and muscle cars.

    ps - this is my fave blog style so far. :)

  6. I don't know if I'd want to see him in such a film. I like a little mystery with my movie stars.

  7. Actually, that's how I normally write a post, but if I leave a few days between I have a few extra thoughts to choose from.

  8. Ick is right. They kept the over-the-top stage blood for the movie. I just hid my eyes and enjoyed the rest of it.

  9. Maybe I'm not over it as much as I think. It would be very difficult for me to write about the theater and singing. I'll probably use those experiences someday, but I can't imagine it now.

    What did you sing, and where?

  10. I don’t think I loved it when I started. It wasn’t, and isn’t, in my blood like writing is. I was sort of shepherded into theater, rather than finding it myself. I was conflicted the entire time. I loved it, but it hated me, if that makes any sense. Now rock and roll and muscle cars? That stuck. :)

  11. OMG I just wrote this long reply and when I hit submit your website ate it. I broke my own rule of writing it in WORD first.

    Suffice to say- in high school I sang everything: jazz, musical theatre, renaissance music, big band. I was really good but not the best. All I wnated to do was be a singer, but my choir director didn't think I had the chops and I believed him.

    I've never let anyone convince me I can't write. Maybe that's because I'm a better writer than singer, but sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm not as passionately involved, not as vulnerable. Or maybe I've just grown up. Not singing broke my heart. Rejection letters? They are nothing compared to that.


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